New rivalry? Woodland Park vandalizes school


“Watch out, here we come” – It’s Woodland Park that needs to prepare for the flood of Mustangs in their stands at tonight’s game.

Brandon McCann

The rivalry between Manitou and Woodland Park is growing. Earlier this morning, Friday, September 5th, it was discovered that the ostentatious hoodlums from Woodland had defaced our cafeteria’s windows with unimaginative and redundant taunts in an attempt to assert their masculinity and dominance in wake of tonight’s football matchup.

Though quickly removed, the graffiti left many of Manitou’s more spirited students and sports enthusiasts in a rage-driven ferment, likely boosting the level of competition at tonight’s game, and inspiring many Manitou students to make the short trip up to Woodland to support our players. Considering that last year Manitou made it to state semifinals, and Woodland Park is far from a 4A football powerhouse, tonight’s game, if nothing else, should prove to be interesting.

Regardless of whether or not Woodland Park wins tonight’s game, one fact remains: the swag-revering cretins that committed this vandalism are no less prestigious or accomplished because of their juvenile antics. If anything, their audacious crime is an exhibition of their inability to think innovatively. A rivalry between your school and mine? We should do something crazy, like write taunts on their cafeteria windows, implying that they’re going to lose. Even better, we’ll use statements that say the same thing over and over again, in increasingly barbaric and grammatically insufficient manners. That’ll show them. They’ll be shaking in their boots. This hasn’t ever been done before. We’re cool. Swag.

Be sure to come support our football team tonight at Woodland. The more screaming students we can get in their stands, the better.