“It’s getting boring I tell ya,” complained Detective Y. “It’s always the same thing. Someone goes missing or there’s a murder, I find the killer, then I get paid. It’s never a challenge. You got anything good?”

“Anything good?” the Chief of Police scoffed. “Only you would say that about crime Y.”

Y rolled his eyes and stared out the large glass behind the Chief’s old wooden desk. He could barely see anything though, with the towering stacks of paper and unsolved cases blocking his view.

“You got a new case or not?” he grumbled.

“For once, not really.”

“You’re joking. You don’t have a single new crime in this huge city? Not even arson?” Y exclaimed.

“Well, there is this one but you’re not going to like it,” the Chief said, averting his gaze.

“Whatever, just give it to me.”

“All right. It’s a missing person’s report.”

“Ok, who’s the guy?”

“Well, that’s….” Chief hesitated.

“Come on. Who is it?” Y demanded.

“It’s X,” Chief sighed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Y yelled. “That jerk? Mr. Popular from high school? No matter where I went, he was always there stealing all the attention. Don’t worry about him Chief, that guy’s probably just off getting new digits. Faking different degrees of romantic interests.”

“You want the case or not?” Chief frowned. “I can just give it to the Alge-bros to solve if you’re not up to it.”

“No!” Y exclaimed. “Never mention the Alge-Bros. Those two brothers think they’re all that and no one can do anything without them. They can only solve a fraction, a small percentage of their problems.”

“Well, this case has become quite the matrix, a real differential equation, not a rational one at all. If you solve it your popularity would multiply, double even. What do you say? Can you find the root cause?”

“Of course, I can. I’m Detective Y.”

With that Y set off to his first witness, Sir Cumference. He lived in the center of town right next to Times Square where X was last seen, making him a possible witness. The only problem was that Sir Cumference liked to go off on a tangent just cos and the conversation would often go in circles. Y was going to have to keep the conversation straight and to the point.

Sir Cumference was waiting in front of Mr. Pi’s pie shop.

“What’s happening, Sir Cumference?”

“I ain’t done nothing, Y. I’m an upright and square person with his own problems to solve.”

“We both know that’s a lie. You ain’t up right nor square,” Y scoffed. “Besides, I didn’t come to accuse you.”

“No?” Sir Cumference asked hesitantly.

“No. I came to ask about X.”

“That missing guy?” he asked.

“Yeah. You know anything about that?” Y asked.

“Hmmm, well you know how I do my daily rounds right?” he asked.

“Yeah, same thing every day right?”

“Right, well I saw X talking to Pi while I was circling the park last week.”

“Do you know what they were talking about? Did X look concerned?” Y asked.

“Slow your roll. Take your time to distribute your questions. Besides, I don’t know nothin. If it aint in my circle it don’t concern me,” he scowled. “Go talk to Pi, I’ve said all I can. Speaking of which-“

Y cut off Sir Cumference before he could finish.

“Thanks for the info,” Y said. “I don’t have time for whatever tangent you’re about to go off on. I gotta go talk to Pi.”

“Oh, fine I get it.  No time for me but plenty for Pi. You know when you get him talking he goes on forever right? There’s no end to it.”

Detective Y turned to the shop behind them where Mr. Pi worked. It was an old classic style diner. One that was in good shape but looked like it had been there since the town was made.

Y went to his usual seat in the very back corner of the bar. There we could see everything. Hear everything.

“What’s up, Y?” asked Mr. Pi.

“You found me faster than usual Pi. You keeping an eye out for me?” asked Y.

“I knew Sir Cumference would go around the truth. Leaving out important details.”

“So, you were with X before he went missing then,” said Y accusingly.

“Yes, we talked but that was it.”

“What about? X-napping?” Y pushed.

“No, he asked about my pie flavors again. Said he forgot what they were. That’s probable because the list goes on forever,” Pi explained.

At that moment the Alge-bros added themselves to the equation. 

“What’s up Detective Y, Pi,” they said demeaningly. “What problem are you solving today?”

“X’s missing. Know anything about that?” he asked jokingly. “Of course, you wouldn’t. It’s pointless talking to you. You’re just average, if not below average, detectives.”

“That’s a mean thing to say,” they replied.

Y ignored them and continued his conversation with Pi.

“Just give up Y. X probably just forgot who he was again and is off adding and subtracting himself from others’ equation,” the Alge-bros said, interrupting Y.

“You just want my case again,” said Y, “and the reward for finding him.”

“Not at all. This one is way too hard for us.”

That was probably the hardest thing the Alge-bros had ever said. They have the biggest ego, yet admitted defeat.

“You know something don’t you? What are you plotting?” Y asked accusingly.

“You never change, Y. Always looking for problems to solve and not enough info.”

With that they turned and left out the double glass doors.

The next person on Y’s list was McAlculator, the informant.

“McAlculator!” Y exclaimed. “What do you know about X?”

“He forgets things often but who doesn’t? His hobby is collecting those digits, and he’s missing.”

“Stop messing around,” Y said. “I know I can count on you, so talk.”

“Fine, but I don’t know much. All I know is that Pi is struggling to get customers and last week was told by the bank he might have to close. His business has been going forever so that couldn’t have been easy to hear. The next day he met with X at the park. What they talked about I’m not sure, but the next day X was gone.”

“Has he been seen with anyone else?” asked Y.

“No. Not since Times square with Pi. Now if you don’t mind leaving I have company.”

“You do? Would your company happen to be the Alge-bros?”

“How did you know? Yes, they happen to be asking about the same case. They might beat you this time,” McAlculator said.

“No, I don’t believe they will because I’ve already solved this case,” declared Y. “I’ve figured out your plan all the way down to the roots.”

“What do you mean my plan?” asked McAlculator.

“How sad. I knew you could be bought but this was just poor calculations on your part. You see, you forgot to take me into account,” Y sighed. “You wanted to make me think Mr. Pi x-napped X in order to get money to save his business but he actually just wanted X to use his popularity and advertise for him.”

“What’s that got to do with me?” asked McAlculator.

“The Alge-bros.”

Y walked to the other room where none other than the Alge-bros were sitting.

“The two of you are below average and needed some quick cash but you knew no one would hire you. So, you x-napped X. You were going to happen to find him, gain popularity, get the reward money, and use X’s memory loss to your advantage,” Y explained.

“You’re wrong,” they argued.

“No, I’m never wrong. I thought it might be you two but I knew for sure when you didn’t try to steal this case and admitted it was too hard for you. I mean, it is, but with your ego’s you would never admit that. Which meant you were plotting something. You even told me to get more information which you knew would lead me here. You bribed McAlculator to get me off your trail, but you really don’t know him very well.”

“What do you mean?” they asked.

“What was bought once can always be bought again. I suspected you might try this when you left Pi’s before me so I called ahead and offered him double your price. So, he told me everything and here we are,” Y explained.

“You still have no evidence without X,” they said.

“We have him,” Y said excitedly. “I sent the Chief ahead but he should be back any moment.”

Just then the door swung wide behind the detective and in came X and the Chief.

“You were right again,” the Chief said. “I knew you have no equal when it comes to solving problems. He was in their log cabin.”

“Of course. These two aren’t original enough for a more elaborate plan.”

With the end of that sentence, Y was on his way. Out to solve another problem.